For Love Waits For No One
by xXTheWalkingDixonxX
Summary: DISCONTINUED. If anyone would like to finish this story, please let me know.
1. Chapter 1

1**A/N: I spent so much time thinking up this story it's not even funny**. **I've probably been brainstorming for nearly four months now! Anyway, the pairings in this fic are not only Spongebob/Sandy, but also Sandy/Squidward! (A first for not only me, but probably the entire fanfiction community.) Well, please R&R!!!**

_Part I_

Sandy's been acting really weird lately. I can't quite place my finger on what's wrong with her, but things just seem...I dunno, different. She doesn't laugh as much as she used to. She is a lot quieter. When we do karate together, it just doesn't feel the same. I'm really worried about her...I want the old Sandy back...the one I fell in love with.

Wanna know what's even stranger? Whenever we're around Squidward, she changes. She freezes up and hardly says anything. She blushes very often. Whenever she has a conversation with him, it's not easy for her to avoid giggling and sighing. She's always talking about him, how _talented_ he is, how _smart_ he is...the list goes on and on.

I am NOT jealous. It's just that–she used to act that way around me.

Why did that stop?

_Chapter 1_

Sandy Cheeks stood before the door of his house, as nervous as any girl in her position would be. Over the past few weeks, she had been thinking about him, and only him. She would sit and daydream about the two of them going to a movie together, or going dancing. She couldn't contain her smile when he came around, and she laughed at all his sarcastic jokes even when she didn't want to. It was only sensible to conclude that she was deeply, deeply in love.

She should be, at least. She'd visited every counselor in the Pacific Ocean searching for an answer to her strange behavior. One had said that her sudden interest in someone she rarely talked to could be a sign of non-recognition from someone else.

"What does that mean?" she had asked, ready to take it as an offense. "It simply means," the doctor replied calmly, "That you are in love with someone whom you've tried to express your feelings to...but he doesn't seem to respond...correct?"

He _was_ correct. Sandy had secretly been in love with Spongebob since the day they met. He was sweet, and generous, never hurt anyone or anything in any way, and was always a pleasure to have around. Besides that he was also a tad bit cute...if you looked very hard.

Yet no matter how many times she'd tried to drop a hint, he was just too blind to notice. Men will always be men, even if they are Spongebob Squarepants. And now that he didn't seem to notice that she loved him, it was time to move on...she would start to make a move on the other one. After all, she had already had a sort of thing for him since she helped him retrieve a clarinet reed lodged in his throat. She had tried to drop a hint, then, and he seemed to notice..possibly. She had to work her way in through time.

Sandy looked up at the wooden door as if begging it for it's owner to be merciful. She had never actually visited him, or even said 'hello' as they passed each other in the supermarket. He wasn't very much of a people's person and she didn't want to intrude upon his free time from everyone else. He seemed to hate every single thing in town (not a very healthy way to start off a relationship), but that would soon all change once she showed him her sentimental side.

Seduction never worked...no, she had been down that road before. All it lead to was sex and knowing-winks from that very man whenever they saw each other. And what did that bring? Happiness, yes for one night, but afterwards??

Which is why she wasn't going to screw it up with this one. She wasn't going to just "give clues" like she had with Spongebob. She was going to slowly grow closer to him, start off at a steady pace, and then reel in the fish–er, no pun intended.

It was a new day under the sea, and she was a new woman. It was time to win the love of her life once and for all.

Slowly, very slowly but surely, Sandy raised her hand to knock on the door. She felt a slight twinge of nervousness as she did so, thinking about retreating. But she knew that this had to be done. Taking a deep breath, biting her lip, and shutting her eyes, she carefully lifted her fist to knock on the door. She was so afraid about what might happen that her hand was shaking. As she planned out what she was going to say once he opened the door, there was a slight rustle behind her. She spun around and easily dodged the quick karate chop of Spongebob.

"HI YA!!" he declared, thrusting his hands into the air and giving a battle cry.

"So, you thought you could get away from Ol' Spongebob, huh, Sandy?" Spongebob asked with a sly smile, "Well, you were wrong! HI-"

Sandy held up her hand and blocked Spongebob's attack, as well as stopping him from getting away. He struggled but she would not allow him to escape. "Spongebob, I can't do karate today. I have some...business to take care of," she said, finally releasing him. Spongebob looked incredibly puzzled. "But, Sandy, It's Tuesday. We always do karate together on Tuesdays..." he said, his voice trailing off. Sandy scoffed and rolled her almond brown eyes. "Not today, Spongebob. Maybe next week."

She proceeded to go back to what she was doing, but Spongebob smiled again. "Ohh, I get it. You're just saying that to throw me off. Well, you're gonna have to try much harder to get past me!" he said, making another sorry attempt to whoop her. Again she stopped him. "Spongebob, I mean it. I have to talk to–look, don't worry about it, just go back home," she said, shoving him towards the pineapple.

"But Sandy, I–"

"GO, Spongebob!"

Looking quite sorrowful, Spongebob bowed his head and trudged back home. Once he was inside and the door was shut behind him, Sandy let out a sigh of relief and knocked rapidly on the door. There was a moment's pause, then the tall, thin figure of the man Sandy had been in love with for weeks now appeared in the doorway.

"Uh...hello, _Sarah_," Squidward said in a puzzled tone, looking all around him. Sandy's face reddened. "Er, actually I go by Sandy, but you can call me Sarah if you like," she said with a nervous giggle. Squidward laughed back, but his was filled with confusion. "O...K... you know Spongebob lives next door, right?" he asked sincerely. "Oh, I know. I came to visit you..hehe!" Sandy replied. Squidward arched a suspicious eyebrow. "Um...can I ask you why?" he said. Sandy looked around and shuffled her feet in the sand. "Oh, ya know...just for fun," she said. She wanted to punch herself in the face for acting like such an idiot.

Squidward stared at her for a long time without saying anything. It was as if he was trying to read her, but he was obviously not successful. "Alright, then–come on in," he said, still eyeing her strangely. "Thank-You!" Sandy said cheerfully as she stepped into the Easter Island Head home.

Having never actually been inside of Squidward's house, she was greatly surprised by the artsy furniture and decorations. Modernly styled chairs, sofas, and tables lined the inside of the house. Pictures of things that only one with a _veeery_ artistic eye could understand hung along the walls, and the smell of Febreze filled her nostrils(even through her air helmet).

"Wow..you have a really cool house," she said to Squidward with a broad smile. His nose wrinkled slightly as he accepted the compliment with a mere "Thanks."

"Well, uh...I guess you should–you know, uh, make yourself at home," Squidward said. Sandy plopped down on a nearby sofa and clasped her hands tightly together. "...Lemonade?" Squidward offered. Sandy looked up, a bit startled since she had been paying more attention to a picture of a gorilla dressed up as a woman going grocery shopping.

"Pardon?"

"I said do you want some lemonade?" Squidward repeated.

"Oh, right...yeah! Sure, why not," Sandy said. She could feel herself blushing again as Squidward gave a little nod and disappeared into the kitchen.

"Oh, man! I can't believe I let the mammal inside my house!!" Squidward cried as he hurried about fixing a pitcher of lemonade. "What could she possibly want? I never talk to her, I try to stay away from everybody else–so what in the name of Neptune is she doing here??"

"I bet he thinks I'm such a creep, coming over to his house when we never even talk!" Sandy said, whipping out a compact mirror(something she hardly ever carried around). "I'm probably not pretty enough...or smart enough...oh, God, what was I thinking? I should have never dragged my behind over here to–"

"Uh, here's that lemonade!" Squidward said in an overly peppy voice. He walked over to her carrying a tray with two glasses filled with a yellow liquid(stop thinking nasty). Sandy took her's and quickly downed it, wishing it were alcohol. Squidward also took his glass and sat down next to her, a good distance away.

"So...you have an accent...where are you from again?" he asked in a desperate way to make conversation. "Texas," Sandy replied proudly. "I got a job offer from a couple of chimpanzees to do experiments underwater, so here I am!"

"Um, what's a 'chimpanzee'?"

"...Never mind..."

There was a long moment of silence. The two just sat there, quietly sipping their lemonade and not saying a word. It wasn't until about two more minutes of complete silence that Sandy spoke up again. "So I understand that you're a musician," she said, gesturing to the statues of different composers. "An _aspiring_ musician," Squidward said under his breath, but Sandy caught his words. "Oh...well, you'll get your chance one day," she said brightly. "Yeah, well that makes two supporters," Squidward said sarcastically. Sandy laughed, which attracted his attention and he eyed her curiously. She coughed and shut her mouth. "What instruments do you play?" she asked, getting back on subject.

"Pretty much anything that involves blowing into or has strings," he replied, taking another sip of his lemonade. "Really? I play a little bit of guitar," Sandy said quickly, happy that there was something they had in common. Squidward's dull eyes grew large with interest. "No kidding?"he said, "Well, I sure am impressed I thought I was the only one in this ass-munching town that had good taste," he said. "We should play together sometime," Sandy said with her nicest smile. Squidward looked at her with a newfound interest. "Yeah...yeah, maybe we should," he said. There was another long pause, but this time it wasn't because the two didn't have anything to say. It was because they were staring into each other's eyes. Just then, Sandy remembered that she had to play it safe for a while and turned away. "Uh, actually, Squidward, I came over here to...to ask you something," she said slowly.

"_What would she wanna ask_ me_?"_ Squidward thought as he arched his eyebrows quizzically. "Uh...sure..." he said in a puzzled tone. Sandy nervously twiddled her thumbs.

"You see, I–I don't really know how to put this, but—but...the thing is...is that...I, uh," Sandy looked at Squidward who looked both impatient and confused. "I have these two tickets to go see the Three Wise Men and—"

"_You _have tickets to a Three Wise Men concert??" Squidward cried in disbelief, " I've been trying to get tickets to one of their concerts for months now, they're my favorite clarinet trio!" he said. "Oh, really? I had no idea," Sandy said, silently thanking Patrick for the tip. "Because you see...I was just-ahem-wondering what to do with the other ticket and I was hoping—well, not hoping, just thinking, really, that...that you..might..wanna..go..with..me...?" she asked. Squidward choked on his sip of lemonade.

"Wha-wha-what?" he asked, spatting out the drink. "You...you mean like—like on a _date_?"

Sandy frantically shook her head. "Oh, no! No, no, no, not as a date—well, yes, but—I mean, no...yes...no! Well, I—yeah," she said.

Squidward was in utter and complete shock. He hardly knew this chick, and now she was asking him out? What the hell was going on here???

"Er—jeez, I, uh—wow, a date, um...s-s-s-sure, w-w-why not?" he asked. Sandy smiled and leapt up. "Okay, then. Meet me in front of the Bubble Bowl tomorrow night at 7," she said. She turned and headed for the door, but Squidward stopped her. "Sandy, wait!" he said. She spun around. "This...doesn't have to be a date, right? I mean, it could be just two people going to a concert together," he said hopefully. "Of course! Don't even think of it as a date," Sandy said, trying her best to hide her disappointment.

"You're...you're right," Squidward said, "It's not a date..."

"Well, see you tomorrow at seven! Bye, Squidward!"

"Yeah, bye..."

**Like it so far? Well, keep reading, chapter 2 should be up tonight as well!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Well, here it is, Chapter 2. I really like the direction this story is going, and I hope you do too. Don't worry all you SB/Sandy fans(I myself am one,) you'll get your turn, LOL. Keep reading!!!**

_Chapter 2_

"Today's the day, Gary," Spongebob said to his beloved pet snail, who was sitting on the couch watching Novellas.

Gary: "Meow," ( the day for wat, homie?)

"The day that I finally ask Sandy out on a date," Spongebob replied. He had been planning for this moment for as long as he could rememebr, but was always so afraid to actaully get up and do it. But not today. Today was going to be different. "Today, right after work, I'm gonna march right over to that treedome, knock on the door and say 'Baby, I've had my eye on you for a long time now, and I think it's time for me to do somethin' about it!' " Spongebob said. He looked over at Gary. "So what do you think?" he asked eagerly.

Gary: "Meow," ( Yo ass gonna get beat if you say that crap.)

"You're right, too old school," Spongebob said, tapping on his chin in thought. "Well, I'll think of something along the way. See you later, Gary," he said as he put on his uniform hat and strolled outside.

Gary: "Meow," (Peace, brutha.)

Spongebob lifted up his arms and raced down Conch St. "I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready!" he chanted as he ran.

His best friend Patrick Star heard him coming and opened up his, er, rock. "Sponge is ready! Woooaaahh-**THUD!" **Patrick said as he slid off the base of his home and landed into the ditch underneath. He got right back up and walked over to greet Spongebob.

"Hey, buddy! Off to work again?" he asked with a wide grin. "Yup," Spongebob replied, "You know how rough the lunch crowd gets on Wedsendays." Patrick stared blankly into space. "Uh...no," he said, "So, you wanna go Jellyfishing today after you finish work?" he asked. Spongebob shook his head. "Sorry, Pat, I'm goin' over to Sandy's after work," he replied. Patrick whistled. "For what, might I ask?" he asked with a smile. Spongebob blushed slightly, "Oh, nothing, it's just that I've got two tickets to the carnival today and I was hoping she would come with me," he said.

Patrick gasped. "Sweet Jesus! You're gonna ask her out??" he cried with joy. Spongebob half-smiled. "Maybe," he said. Patrick punched Sopngebob on the arm, causing him to cringe and sway with pain. "Damn, Spongebob! I didn't know you had it in you!" Patrick said in a proud voice. "Well, say that to me tonight when I'm in the passanger seat of a roller coaster with Miss Cheeks."

The two laughed and joked some more, than Spongebob was off to work again. "Bye, Spongebob! I hope you get some tonight!" Patrick called out. Spongebob waved back at him and stepped inside of the Krusty Krab. As usual, he was the first one there, so he decided to head out back to the Patty Vault to count the Seseme Seeds.

He unlocked the door, sat down, and got right to work. But no sooner had he just sat down he heard the front door open. "Hmm, Mr. Krabs must be here early today," Spongebob said, getting up to investigate.

When he poked his head out to the front, to his surprise instead of Mr. Krabs' red, sweaty face smiling back, he saw _Squidward's._ Spongebob looked at him with a shocked expression as he picked up a nearby rag and wiped down a table. Then he began to...sing. Squidward Tentacles, the guy who hated everything in life except himself, was scrubbing down a table and singing. This was an even more serious case than the one time when he got electrocuted by his fence and became super nice.

"How strange," Spongebob murmured as he approached Squidward. "Hey, Squidward, what are you doing here so early?"

Squidward must have been startled by Spongebob's entrance because he let out a yell, dropped the rag, and sat on the table. "I-I-I-who now?" he said, trying to sound calm. "You were cleaning a table and singing..." Spongebob said slowly. Squidward folded his arms and scoffed. It was amazing how quickly he could resume his composure. "No I wasn't! I was wiping gum off my shoe and humming the Pledge of Alligance!" he protested. Spongebob looked down at Squidward's bare feet. "You don't wear shoes," he said matter-of-factly. Squidward's face turned red with anger. "Just get back to your spot behind the grill, you ding dong!"

Spongebob quickly obeyed and hopped away to the kitchen. Once he was gone, Squidward began to clean and sign again, this time more quietly.

Mr. Krabs strolled inside the restaurant, took of his leather jacket and Biker's helmet, and hung them on the coatrack. When he saw Squidward he nearly jumped.

"Mr. Squidward! You're here awfully early," he said in a surprised voice. "Yeah, well...I just felt like getting here on time today," Squidward said, examining the cash register. "Oh, that's great!" Mr. Krabs said, whispering to Spongebob, "The lad's acting strange, keep track of the knives."

When the restaurant opened up and around lunch time, Spongebob and Squidward were taking orders as usual. Then, Sandy strolled inside. For an odd reason that he couldn't understand, Squidward's heart quickened it's pace slightly. He took deep breaths to slow it down, but found it harder to breathe as Sandy came nearer. Quickly, he picked up a nearby magazine and pretended to be highly engrossed in it.

Sopngebob was mopping the floor when he noticed Sandy come in and stopped instantly. Now was his chance to ask her out to the carnival! But how would he do it...

"Howdy, Spongebob!" Sandy said with a wide smile. "Wow, it's good to hear that voice again!" Spongebob said. Sandy giggled. Spongebob smiled. "What do you mean, silly?" she asked. "I mean that you've been sorta quiet lately. I've really been worried about you," he said, putting the mop away. Sandy's beautiful eyes were laced with softness. He had never seen her so...vivid and entergetic. Even though that was her personality. "Oh, you're so sweet, Spongebob," she said, bending down and giving him a soft, smooth kiss on the cheek(forget about the air helmet thingy). Spongebob's blue eyes widened and he clutched his heart as he he neaarly tripped over the bucket. Squidward saw the kiss and his eyes grew wide, as well, and he fell out of the ordering boat cranning his neck to get a better look.

Spongebob watched her walk away with a smile large enough to cover an entire globe. He followed her and stopped her, seeing that now was a really good time. "So, uh, I have two tickets to the carnival tonight and--"

"The carnival? Oh, I love the carnival...too bad I can't go tonight," she said, walking over to the ordering boat where Squidward was still trying to untangle his legs. Spongebob stopped her again. "Wait, why can't you go?" he asked. Sandy had disappointed him twice so far, and he couldnt' take much more heartbreak.

Sandy sighed and a goofy smile spread across her face. "I already have plans with...someone else..." she said. Her voice sounded distant.

"Who?" Spongebob demanded, growing a little angry.

"It's nothing, nobody," Sandy answered. Spongebob watched her leave and walk up to the Ordering Boat and help Squidward up, then it all became clear to him...and that's when the jealousy started.

It bubbled inside of him like a deathly volcanoe, about to explode. He watched with a sickening, sinking feeling as the two flirted like High School kids going to a prom and felt such a strong anger. He couldn't explain it, because it was unlike anything else he'd ever felt. His eyes turned blood red, his pupils turned into dogs and began to growl and snarl.

"Okay then," he said in a low voice, "If that's the way you want to play it..." He whipped out his cell phone and dialed the number of super-hot, sexy cousin from Spain, Marisol. She answered on the second ring.

"Hello, Marisol? We're gonna play a little game..."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Chapter 3. Thanks to all of you who have left reviews, and by the way, I hope that this story has inspired you all to write your own Squid/Sandy fics. I would really like to see more out there! **

_Chapter 3_

Sandy couldn't help but laugh as she helped a flustered Squidward up to his feet. "You okay?" she asked with concern. Squidward looked up at her and tunred a pale shade of pink. "Uh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine," he said, getting up and dusting himself off. He gave Sandy a nervous smile and managed to clumsily step back into the boat and plop down with an uneasy sway. What in Neptune's name was wrong with him?

"I...just stopped by to check on our date--I mean! Our...thing...for tonight," Sandy said slowly. Squidward could only nod his head. "Of course," he said, trying to sound cool. "It's all set, tonight at seven, right?"

"Right. Okay, great...I guess I'll be leaving now-"

But as soon as she turned around, she saw Spongebob facing her. He was leaning on a nearby table with one leg behind the other. He wore a bright smile, but something in his eyes made it seem fake. "So," he said in a voice that was clearly strained to sound happy, "You and Squiddy are going out?"

"No!" the two both cried at the same time. "I-I-I-It's not a date...the exact _opposite_ of a date," Squidward said quickly. "Y-yeah, what he said," Sandy replied. Spongebob tried his best to look sorrowful. " Aw, that's too bad; I was hoping we could make it a double date," he said. Squidward snorted. Sandy arched an eyebrow curiously.

"And...who would_ you_ be going with, Sopngebob?" she asked. Sopngebob could not suppress his grin. "Oh, I just met this girl the other day. She's smart and beautiful and talented and--sigh--she's all around perfect."

For some strange reason Sandy felt a twinge of anger. "Oh really," she said, folding her arms and taping her foot. " I'd sure like to meet this lovely lady."

"Me too," Squidward said in a far away voice. Sandy shot him an evil look, and he lowered his head.

"Perfect!" Spongebob said happily. "We can all go on a date together, the four of us."

Sandy suddenly had the urge to smack Spongebob for no reason. Since when did he become so interested in someone who wasn't her? What happened to the days when he used to sigh like that when she was aorund? Well, she just had to correct him on that. She was the only girl he was allowed to go gaga over, even if she did want to go out with Squidward. It was time she showed him how big a mistake he was making.

Boldly, she thrust her arm around Squidward and pulled him close. "_We'd _love to go, right, Squiddy Widdy?" she asked, tickling his chin.

Squidward pulled away from her. "What did you just call me??" he asked. Sandy shot him a do-it-or-I'll-slap-you look and threw her head back and laughed. "You're so funny, Squidward! Well, I'll see both of you tonight. Don't forget to bring your little girlfriend, Spongebob, I would really like to meet her!" Sandy then blew a kiss to Squidward before she left the restaurant.

Spongebob watched her go with rage exploding through every part of his body. "What was that all about?!" he cried to Squidward, who was just as shocked as Sopngebob was. "I...don't have the slightest idea," he responded.

"Well...just stay away from her, okay?" he asked, going back to mopping the floor. Squidward stepped out of the boat and approached him. "And...why should I...?" he asked. Spognebob looked up at him as if the answer were obvious.

"Well...I just...I just don't want you two to get too close to each other!" he said. "Well...what if I want to get closer to Sandy?" Squidward asked slowly, shuffling his feet. Sopngebob looked up at him again, shock inside of his eyes. "You...you don't..._like her_, do you Squid?" he asked hopefully. Squidward just stared down at his feet without saying a word. "Well?!" Spongebob cried out, waving his arms frantically in the air. Squidward was absolutely silent. Spongebob's eyes grew wide with shock.

"You...you _do_ like her, don't you!!" he said. "I don't know!" Squidward yelled, walking back to his post. "I mean...she kind of... asked me out the other day, and...well I've been doing some thinking since then--and maybe she isn't so bad," he leaned forward and rested his head in a tentacle. "I mean...she sure is cute enough...and she's pretty smart--"

Spongebob raced over to Squidward and threw his hands onto his shoulders. "Squidward listen very closely to me: you _cannot_ fall in love with Sandy!" he cried. "Who said I was?!" Squidward replied, pushing Spongebob's hands away, " All I'm saying is that maybe I should give her a chance."

"Uh, no!" Spongebob yelled. " I know for a fact that she's interested in you, and if you decide--"

"Really? She likes me??" Squidward asked hopefully, his eyes lighting up. Spongebob slapped a hand to his face. "Yes! Yeah, she likes you, okay?"

Squidward smiled a bit. "Well...I can't say she doesn't have good--"

"Squidward, come back to Earth, here! If you decide that you like her as well, then that won't give me a fighting--" Spongebob instantly stopped himself. Squidward folded his arms and looked at him curiously.

"Won't give you a fighting what, Spongebob?"

Spongebob gulped. Had he just confessed the biggest secret of his life to Squidward? By the nasty glow in his eyes, he could tell that he definitely had. Oh, brother, he was doomed!

"I know what the matter is, Spongebob," Squidward said with a devious smile. Spongebob's eyes darted around the room. "Er...you do?" he asked in a small voice. Squidward nodded. "Yup, I sure do; you're jealous!"

Spongebob snorted and went back to mopping. "Of _what_?" he asked. "Of me and Sandy. Just admit it, you're jealous."

"Squidward, there _is_ no 'You and Sandy'. You guys aren't even going on a real date, she said so herself!" Spongebob protested.

"In denial. It's okay to come right out and say it, Spongebob. You are jeeeeeaaaaaalous!" Squidward said, giving one of his famous cackles.

"I am not!" Spongebob said, stuffing the mop back into the bucket with such force that it wobbled slightly. "Sandy and I are friends, just friends, and that's all we'll ever be," he added.

"Heh. Got that right, since I beat you to the punch..." Squidward said.

"WHAT?!?!" Spongebob cried. "You did NOT! Sandy would never wanna go out with a stuck-up tightwad like you, Squidward Tentacles!"

" Are you saying that Sandy would prefer you to me?" Squidward asked in utter shock. "No! I'm just saying that maybe she had too much to drink yesterday and she's still really out of it!" Spongebob replied.

"You know, that could very well be true, sicne we drank Heineken at her slumber party last night!" Squidward said with a smug grin.

Spongebob gasped, and now the entire restaurant was watching the events take place. "No you didn't just--"

"Damn right, I did!"

The Krusty Krab erupted into whispers and giggles.

"Alright, then, fine! If you think Sandy would rather go out with you, then let's make this little arguement more interesting," Spongebob said. "I bet that you can't get Sandy to fall in love with you in one week, and I can!"

"Well, that'll be easy, because she already DOES!" Squidward cried out, "Now, you might as well pay up right now."

"No way!"

"Alright, then! How much do you wanna bet?"

Songebob reached into his pocket and felt around. " Twenty-five...cents!" he declared, pulling out a gleaming quarter. Squidward stared at him blankly.

"Forget it, it's no longer for money...just in the celebration of manhood. Besides, I could do this while walking through a kelp forest with my eyes closed," he said. "And _I_ could doing the same thing as you, blindfolded, hands tied behind my back, with a swarm of angry jellyfish zapping at me!" Sopngebob shot back.

Squidward glared at him. "Bring it on!"

"Oh, it's on!"

**Later that night...**

Spongebob paced around the living room of his pineapple. _" Where on Earth could she be? She's an hour late..."_ he thought.

"Oh, Gary. I'm so stressed," he said, plopping down onto his comfy red chair. Gary slithered up next to him.

Gary: Meow, ('Bout wat?)

Spongebob sighed. "I told Marisol to be over nearly two hours ago, and she still isn't here!" he cried out.

Gary: Meow, (Damn, that Marisol is fine!)

"That's exactly why I asked her to stop by," Spongebob said. "Luckily she's in town for the week and I need somebody really goregous to--"

Gary: Meow, (Lemme guess. Make Sandy jealous?)

Spongebob looked over at Gary curiously. "How...did you know that?" he asked, wondering how his snail knew most things before he did.

Gary: Meow, ( I just know, ok? I have my ways...mind your own damn business.)

And with that, Gary went upstairs, just as a light knock appeared at the door. Spongebob's face lit up. "Oh, she's here!" he cired, racing over to the door.

A tall, thin, exotic-looking girl was on the other side. A wide smile came across her face and she raced over to Sopngebob and threw her arms around him.

"Oh, Spongy!!" she cried happily, "It's so nice to see you!" Spongebob blushed and then quickly pulled himself away. He hated getting horney around family members.

"Hey, Marisol. Glad you could make it," he said to her with a wide smile.

"So am I," Marisol replied, taking a seat on the couch. "And sorry I'm so late; the Hilton is an hour's drive from here, and the 210 was blocked up for _miles_!" she sighed and smoothed out the wrinkled edges of her chiffoin dress. "So...what was it that was so important you needed me to come over at exactly 6:45?" she added.

Spongebob gulped. How in the name of Neptune was he going to let Marisol know that he wanted her to be his date for tonight?

"Uh...well, it's just that--"

"It's okay, Spongy, you can tell me," she said, giving him a perfect, cover-girl smile.

"Er-okay..." Spongebob said in a nervous tone, staring down at the floor. "You see...there's this concert thingy I was planning on going to and...I was kinda wondering if--if you'd be my date...?"

The happiness in Marisol's face vanished. She looked all around the room, sighed, then patted the empty seat beside her. Slowly, in a confused way, Spongebob sat down next to her.

"SpongeRobert," she said, using his real name to get serious with him, "We've been over this ever since 8th grade: I am your _cousin_. It would be sick and wrong and even illegal in some countries if we went out--"

Spongebob leapt up. "No! No, no, no, it's nothing like that!" he cried.

"Oh, thank God," Marisol said, putting a hand to her heart. "Armani would _definitely _be pissed otherwise."

"Look," Spongebob said, "All I want you to do is come with me to a Three Wise Men concert, pretend you're some hot, spanish chick I met at a Casino, and be flirty and promiscuous enough to make this girl I really like jealous."

Marisol merely looked at him. "I dunno, Spongebob," she said softly, "If you wanna win this girl's heart, jelalousy is not the way to go. She might not even _be_ the jealous type."

Spongebob chuckled. "Oh, Sandy's the jealous type, alright. Once, I went to this place called Shell City to get King Neptune's stolen crown, and his daughter Mindy helped me along; as soon as I got back and everything settled down, my life was torture for two weeks straight! I found sea urchins in my bed, got death letters, and she even punched me in the gut and said: 'Have fun with your Ariel-wannabe, dolphin ass mermaid friend?' !"

Marisol rolled her eyes. "Ohhh, so we're talking about the Sandy girl you keep writing to me baout in your letters," she said, "I see now."

"Exactly!" Spongebob cried. " You saw that picture I sent you from the Christams party when she dressed up as Santa's Little Helper-" he shuddered, "-Oooh, isn't she spicy..."

"Spongebob, I am a nice person, I really am, but I'm not gonna help you land a girl!" Marisol said, standing up and walking to the door.

"No, Marisol, don't go! Please don't go!" Spongebob said, racing over and holding her ankles. "Spongebob, get the hell away from me!" Marisol cried.

"Please Marisol, don't leave! I really really like Sandy and I want this to work out! Please help me! Pleeeeaaaase!!!"

"Spongebob, I will not help you! Find some other girl to be your slut-for-a-day!"

"Wait, Marisol, just wait!" Spongebob said, digging into his pocet and pulling out a stack of money. "Here!" he said, "Here's five hundred bucks! Now will you pretend to be my girlfriend, huh, huh?"

Marisol's eyes lit up. "Spongebob, where did you get all that money?!" she asked him. "What Mr. Krabs dosen't know won't hurt him," Spongebob replied. Marisol folded her arms.

"Well, you can forget it. If you think you can get me in for a measly five biggies, then you're wrong."

Spongebob pulled out another Franklin. "Six hundred!" he declared.

"Deal, let's party."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Chapter 4. Kinda short but I'm running low on creative energy. **

_Chapter 4_

**Squidward: **"So," Squidward said angrily, throwing on his "I Love The Wise Men" shirt, "That yellow bitch thinks he can step right in and steal my woman? Well, I'll teach him a lesson he won't easily forget. Ha Ha!" He inspected himnself in the mirror and his face brightened. "I mean, come _on_! What's not to like?" he aksed himself. "You've got brains, talent, and an exterior that's enough to make angels worhsip you--" he flexed a non-exsistent muscle and frowned. "Not yet, but we're gettin' there. Besides, Sandy seems to like muscular guys; all the more reason for her to reject Spongebob!" he laughed again, then turned towards the mirror one final time. "Remember, Squiddy: Keep it cool, work the charm, and do what you did that night at Makeout Reef...if you get that far..." and with that, Squidward strolled outside for his now-clearly-obvious date.

**Sandy:** "So," Sandy said, examining herself in her full length mirror. She was wearing a snug blue shirt, and skin-tight pants, along with her usual air helmet, " Spongebob's been hangin' around a new gal-pal! Well, I'll teach that rectangle what happens when you fool around with Sandy Cheeks--I'll make that octopus so hot, the ocean's gonna bubble!" and with that, she grabbed her purse and left the treedome.

**Spongebob:** "So," Spongebob said as he stormed alongside Marisol, "Squidward thinks he's such a ladykiller, eh? I'll show him! I'll show him who knows how to get a girl! I might even lose my virginity tonight!" he squealed excitedly and tugged the sleeve of Marisol's dress. "Oh, come on, Marisol! Santa might give me an early present tonight!" Marisol sighed in annoyance and jogged forward as the two got ready for their "date."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Chapter 5. Thnx 4 reviewing, I'm glad you all are enjoying my story:)'s (smiles) to all of you!**

_Chapter 5_

The Bubble Bowl was incredibly crowded, packed with nerds, weirdos, and gays for miles to see. Marisol, judging by the look of disgust in her eyes, clearly didn't want to be here. "Spongebob, there had better be at least _one_ hot guy here or I'm walking off with my six Big Greenbacks and hitting Louis Vutton," she said, wrinkling her nose at the sight of a geek winking at her. "Hey!" Spongebob cried, "You're with me, remember?" Marisol quickly brightened when she saw a muscular, tough-looking dolphin walk past and give her a double take. "Ooh, not for long," she said, waving flirtatiously to the fish, "Hello, daddy!"

She was about to walk off when Spongebob pulled her sleeve. "Save it for later, Mari. We've got a squirrel to make jealous," he said, scanning the crowd for any sign of Sandy.

Squidward sat in the top row of the stands. It wasn't the best seat in the house, but hey, this event was originally not even suposed to matter. But now here he was, his mind trailing off to thoughts of spending several more romantic (and perhaps a little quiter,) evenings with her; just the two of them...he would stare deep into her alluring, chestnut-colored eyes, and she would gaze at him lovingly...and then Spongebob would burst through the door looking so pathetic! Ha!

He immediately began planning out what there next event would be, scribbling down some ideas in his daily planner (he always had it with him). "Oh, maybe next week I'll get us tickets to go see Wicked...no...there's nothing wrong with being green!" He shook his head and scratched "Defy Gravity" off of his list. "The opera?" he thought, tapping his chin in thought. "No, she's not into that kind of stuff...I know! The Bikini Bottom Carnival is coming to town! She can get on as many thrill rides as she wants, and then we'll hit the bar, I'll get her tipsy, and she'll come home with me--it's perfect!" Squidward suddenly stopped when he noticed how excited he was getting. There was a long pause before he finally chuckled to himself and put his daily planner away.

"Look at yourself, Squiddy," Squidward said in monotone. "Getting all jumpy over that...that _air_ breather!" He suddenly jumped out of his seat. "Wait, what am I doing?!? How can I possibly love anybody in this bathwater town? I'm better than all of them, the next evlolutionary step, baby! I--I've gotta stop this before it gets too out of--"

"Hello, Squidward..."

Squidward turned around to find Sandy right behind him, and lemme tell ya: she.looked.HOT! He didn't expect her to get all jazzed up for this, and it took him quite by surprise...but he sure did like it. She looked like a complete goddess in every way, adn the seductibve expression on her face was making him hornier by the second.

"D-d-d-DAMN!" Squidward cried, falling over. Sandy helped him to his feet for the second time that day. "I...hope you don't mind that I decided to get a little dressed up," she said. Squidward looked at her from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. "Not.at.all," he sadi slowly, a grin creeping across his face. Sandy blushed and turned away. "Well," she said, "I...I guess we better--you know, take our seats now."

"Huh...? Oh, yeah, right, right."

The two began to sit down and Squidward coughed, then commented, "You know, Sandy, I--hehe-I must say, you suuure do clean up nicely!" Sandy was a bright shade of pink. "Thanks, I--"

"Well, hey, there, family!" came the voice of Spongebob. He leaped in out of nowhere, with his arm around a goregous, raven-haired beauty. "Hi there, Sandy, hiSquidward," Spongebob said, rushing into Squidward's name quickly. Squidward opened his mouth to say something, but Spongebob cut in again. "_This _is my very good friend, Marisol," he said, nodding to his sickened cousin, "I met her last week at Pachanga."

"Ohh, so this is the little tramp--er, I mean, uh--lovely young woman Spongebob was tellin' me about," Sandy said in an angry voice, giving Marisol an evil look. Marisol could automatically tell that Sandy didn't like her, and she was feeling so strongly about_ her_ either.

"Ohh, and this is the dog Spongebob was telling _me _about--oops! I didn't mean 'dog', I meant...wait, I did mean dog!"

"HAAA! You ladies crack me up, wait just one minute, please!" Spongebob said, pulling Marisol off to the side.

"Marisol, what the hell are you doing?!?" he whisper-shouted. "I told you to be sexy and flirty, not mean and bitchy!"

Marisol rolled her eyes. "Look, Spongebob, I can already tell she loves you; she's already acting like a jealous byotch, so can I puh-lease go home?" "NO!" Spongebob cried, "The deal was that you would do enough to make her jealous, not leave before the date even starts!!"

From the bleachers, Sandy was eyeing Spongebob and Marisol with a sharp glare. "I don't like that Marisol chick," she said. Squidward smiled, "I do.."

He quieted down when Sandy jammed her foot into one of his tentalces.

Spongebob and Marisol finally returned, and each guy sat next to his girl.

Squidward glanced at Spongebob out of the corner of his eye, "Sowtime," he thought.

Spongebob glanced over at Squidward, "Let's rock and roll," he thought.

The lights dimmed, that horrible orchestra-tuning-up sound was heard, and the audience applauded. The bet was now officially on. Squidward watched as three men dressed as Abraham Lincoln leapt on stage, each one holding a clarinet. Several people screamed as they began to perform "Ode to Joy". Then, very slowly but surely, Squidward did the "yawn" trick and put his arm around Sandy. She smiled slightly and began to allow this. Spongebob saw what Squidward was doing and fumed. He had to do something!

"Ooops!" he cried, knocking the drink of a man sitting directly above them out of his hand and onto Squidward's head.

Squidward yelled and the man looked like he was about to explode. "What the--hey, I was drinking that, you freaking ass!!"

"Sorry, you know me! Spongebob Clumsy--he slapped Squidward upside his head--Pants!"

"Ouch! Spongebob, you son of a--"

"Something _wrong_, Squiddy, ol' buddy ol' pal?" Spongebob asked innocently. Squidward instantly cooled off. "Why, of course not. I was just telling Sandy here how breathtakingly goregous she is," he said, turning to face her with a sly grin. She erupted into giggles. "Oh, Squidward, you're so..." she looked lustfully into his eyes, "...so damn hot..." she then leaned against him and deeply inhaled his Obsession For Men cologne. Squidward smiled broadly and turned to Spongebob. "Suck my balls!" he mouthed.

"Son of a bitch!" Spongebob mouthed back, shaking his head in a warning fashion.

The rest of the night went on pretty normal, Squidward managed to keep his arm around Sandy for awhile, so Spongebob knew he had to do something quick. He turned to Marisol. "Make a moaning sound," he ordered.

"What?!" Marisol cried.

"Make a moaning sound! You know, moan like I'm making otu with oyu!"

"...Uh..."

"Moan, dammit, MOAN!"

"OH, SPONGEBOB! OHHH!!!

"Hey, that's good! Scream my name!"

Several heads turned as Marsiol continued to scream and giggle as Spongebob pretended to kiss her neck. Sandy glared at the two with a look of absolutely no respect. Squidward looked at Spongebob with the same evil eye.

This act continued on for several minutes, until Sandy finnaly shot up. "Will you two shut the hell up?! I'm trying to enjoy a concert, here!!" Spongebob shot up with her.

"Why, Sandy?!? Gettin' a little jealous, huh??"

"No! How 'bout you, Spongebob??"

"Oh, no, I'm not jealous!!"

"Well, fine then!"

"Fine!"

The two plopped down angrily, and the rest of the night was silent. No one said a word for the rest of the concert, until it was finally time to leave. Spongebob offered to take Sandy home, but as you can imagine, she was a bit pissed. So the two couples went home different ways.

**At the Pineapple:** "Uh...thanks for pretending to be my date, Marisol," Spongebob said, shuffling his feet. "You're welcome..." Marsiol replied. She smiled feebly at him before turning to leave. But before she opened the door, she turned back around to face him. "You know, Spongebob...I really do think Sandy likes you. You might wanna consider winning her heart the right way...and you can start by apologizing..."

**At the Easter Island Head: **Sandy rocked on her feet and smiled up at Squidward. The two stood silent in front of his house, not uttering a word. The night's events had been quite awkward, and needless to say, it wasn't the perfect first date everyone had hoped for. But even still, she was glad to have gone with him.

"I...had a really good time tonight, Squidward," Sandy said. Squidward smiled at her. "Surprsingly...so did I..." there was a moments pause at the two just stared at each other. "This is kinda weird, huh?" Sandy suddenly asked with a grin.

"What?"

"Oh, you know: you and me going out; I thought you'd expect me to only go out with Spongebob, but...here we are...look, I understand if you never wanna go out with me again, I just--"

"Who said I ddin't want to go out with you again...?"

Sandy looked at him curiously. "You mean..." she said, her voice trailing off.

Squidward looked down at his feet and sighed. "Listen, Sandy, I've never told any girl this before, but...I...I--"

"Yes, Squidward?"

"...I--really like you..."

"Y-you do?" Sandy asked in an unsure tone.

Squidward nodded. "I never really noticed it before, and I hope I'm not being too forward by telling you this on the first date but...ah, Neptune, you're just so pretty and smart and talented and--"

But before he had a chance to say anything else, Sandy had removed her air helmet and was now kissing him. It was a long, slow, and passionate kiss, and Squidward actually really enjoyed it. In fact, soon he had his hands around her waist and was fully into it, loving every moment...but then they broke apart so fast that he still had his eyes closed.

"S--Sandy...?"

The two looked over to see Spongebob standing right there, looking forlorn and hurt. Sandy put her air helmet back on and looked at him sadly. "Spongebob..." she whispered, "Look, I know you like me, and I like you, too, but just as--"

"I get it!" he cried, turning around, "You...you just wanna be friends...I get it..."

And with that, he slowly walked back into his pineapple. Sandy chased after him, but it was too late. His heart was already broken.

**So...should Sandy choose Squidward or Spongebob? Stay tuned!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Chapter 6, people. When we last left our heroes, Squidward was plantin' one on Sandy. You know, as my story keeps going on, I'm starting to see Sandy as a slut...What happens next?! **

_Chapter 6_

"Welcome to the Krusty Krab, may I take your order?" Squidward asked. Once agan, he seemed a tad bit brighter than usual, and there was even a barely-visible smile on his face; but, he wasn't all the way joyful. After all, even after kissing the girl of his dreams last night, he was _still_ Squidward!

"Yeah, uh, I'll have a Krabby Patty Dleuxe Meal, and...a side of Coral Bits," the customer replied. "Comin' right up, handsome," Squidward answered in a dull tone and turned to face the ordering window. "Spongebob, I need a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a side of Coral Bits," Squidward said, giving his maroon eyes a roll. Spongebob had been acting like a jerk all morning, the way he went about bumping into him on prupose, giving him the "evil eye," and writing "I hate Squidward" in ketchup on all the patties.

Yet the worst part was when Squidward presented an order: Spongebob would merely glower at him and--

"Pffffsssst!!"

--Yeah, give him the Raspberry.

Squidward slowly wiped spittle off of his face. "Squarepants...I know you might be just a _wee_ bit ticked about what happened between me and Sandy last night, but you have _got_ to let it go!" he said angrily. "Do you...hear something, krabby patties?" Spongebob asked the grilling burgers. He put his ear closer to them and nodded. "Yeah, I DON'T EITHER!"

"You bastard, we're at work! At least try to be professional until you get back home!" Squidward said.

"Oh, so now I'm a bastard?!"

"_Now_? You always _were_! Now shut-up and give me my order."

Spongebob glared at Squidward so forcefully that his left eye twitched slightly. "Oh, you want your precious order?" he asked innocently, picking up a nearby bottle of soda and shaking it, "Here ya go!"

Spongebob then opened the can, releasing all it's contents onto Squidward's face. "One asshole energy drink to go!" he said with an evil smirk.

"SPONGEBOB!!" Squidward yelled. He grabbed a towel out of nowhere and wiped his face. "Get over yourself! Just admit the fact that _I_ won and get back to your pathetic life!" he yelled.

"Won what, Squidward? Sandy??" Spongebob demanded in a quaky voice. "If that's the case, then you never won!"

"Don't be so sure of yourself, Spongebob! After all, I don't believe _you _were the one swapping mints with her the other day," Squidward said smugly.

Spongebob chuckled slightly. "You honestly don't get it, do you?" he asked.

"...Get what..."

"Listen closely, **big nose**," said Spongebob, standing on top of the grill to reach Squidward's eye level, "Sandy never wanted you, and she never will. She wants _me_, and always has. The only reason she went chasing after you was because she thought I wasn't interested in her!"

"Well, we can see how great _that _worked out, huh, ya bitch!" Squidward said, folding his arms and laughing.

It was at that moment Spongebob snapped altogehter.

"YOU IDIOT! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY TO YOU?!" he cried.

"Of course," Squidward replied cooly, "That I'm better with the ladies than you'll ever hope to be!"

"NOOOO!!" Spongebob yelled, causing the entire restaurant to sway like there was an earthquake. He stepped out of the kitchen to face Squidward head-on. "Listen to me, Tentacles! Sandy loves me, not you, you're just the Rebound Guy, so you might as well just forget about everything you thought she meant to you 'cause guess what? She...loves...me!"

"Woah, woah, woah, hold on there, my disliked compadre," Squidward said, getting out of the ordering boat.

"Uh...hey buddy, can I order now--"

"Not now," Squidward said, holding a hand up to the head of a growing line of impatient customers.

"But my wife's waiting in the car and--"

"I said 'not now,' dammit!"

The customer, looking both shocked and confused, slowly backed off. Squidward towered over Spongebob with a menacing stare.

"Sandy does not now, nor will she EVER be in love with a guy like you! I mean, just _look_ at yourself!" the octopus said, pointing to Spongebob's outfit. "You're a disgrace to life; there's no force in the entire universe that would ever in a million years make her fall in love with you--" Squidward bent down and poked Spongebob in the nose, "--Got that?"

Spongebob glared up at his enemy. "You wanna know somethin' Squidward!?"

"What!?"

"You're _reeeeally_ starting to piss me off!"

"Is that right?"

"Yeah!"

"Am I still pissing you off _now_?!"

Squidward slapped Spongebob clear across his face, leaving the pouros fellow looking dumb founded. He held up a finger.

"Hell...no..." he said to Squidward menacingly.

"Whatcha gonna do about it? Punk?" Squidward replied back, spitting the "P" in punk at him

"Alright, that does it!" Spongebob cried. He balled his hands into fists. "Come on, let's go! Put 'em up! We can settle this like Rocky and Apollo!!"

Squidward watched blankly as Spongebob leapt around him, doing various jabbing movements. He rolled his eyes.

"Spongebob, let me tell you two things: one, I'm about five feet taller than you. Two, I've studied martial arts for three years, and I have no problem in putting a permanent mark on your a--"

Spongebob suddenly swung and, with a loud cry, punched Squidward right in the face. The restaurant was now watching, and they all gasped.

Squidward could only look at the sponge with no emotion on his face whatsoever. After about five minutes of silence, he sighed, rubbed his jaw, and said flatly, "Okay, it's about to go down."

The two ran into each other and got caught in that cloud-thingy they show whenever cartoons beat each other up. The restaurant started clapping and cheering, whooping and hollering, as if it were a wrestling match.

From his quarters Mr. Krabs heard the noise ansd curiously scuttled outside. "What's all the comotion about--WHAT THE!?"

"You'd better take that blow back, you square freak!"

"I'll do it as long as you leave Sandy alone!!"

"Never!"

"Six-legged octopus!"

"Buck-toothed asshole!"

"Grrrr!"

"Arrrrgehhh!"

"Boys, boys!"

Mr. Krabs pulled his fighting employees away from each other, holding them up at arms length. They wre still swinging.

"Let me at 'im, Mr. Krabs! I'm gonna give that suction-cupped weirdo a beating he _shan't _soon forget!" Spongebob said angrily.

"Grow up! You couldn't touch me even if you--"

**PUNCH!**

"--Tried..."

Mr. Krabs was in utter shock at Squidward and Spongebob's behavior. Sure, Squidward had always hated Spongebob, but Spongebob usually would never do anything like this to Squidward!

"_What_ in the name of Neptune has gotten into you two!?" he asked urgently.

Squidward brushed himself off. "Well, Sandy's gotten into _me_, Mr. K. Can't say the same for Spongebob!"

(Do you get it?)

Spongebob thrust forward. "Why, I oughta--"

Mr. Krabs held the two back again. "Spongebob! Squidward! What's the matter with ya?? Fightin' in the middle of me restaurant, like it was some sort of Smack Down contest! You both should be ashamed of yourselves!"

Spongebob bowed his head. Squidward examined his finger nails.

"Now, I'm only gonna ask you this one last time: what in the world coulda caused you two to act like this?"

"Ohhh...Mr. Krabs, it's a girl!" Spongebob blurted, falling to his knees in tears.

Mr. Krabs raised his eyebrow. "A _girl_?" he asked in disbelief, turning to face Squidward. "Squidward, you--you like girls?"

"What the--yes! Yes, I'll have you know I do like girls! And not only that, I won this one, too!" he cried, folding his arms in a satisfied way.

Mr. Krabs shrugged. "Oh. Well then, it's all settled. Now back to work with the both of yas!" he said.

"But Mr. Krabs! She loved me first, not him!!" Spongebob cried out. Mr. Krabs turned back around and rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh.

"Spongebob, when are you gonna learn? I'm rich. I don't have time to be foolin' around, playin' Dr. Phil all day. Got that??"

"But Mr. Krabs, I--"

"Get back to that grill...or you're FIRED!!"

And without another word, Mr. Krabs hurried back into his office. Spongebob looked up at Squidward with a pitiful expression on his face.

"Thanks alot, Squidward.. I thought you were supposed to be my friend??"

Irony, my friends, has an amazing way of working it's way into different situations, for just as Squidward opened his mouth to say something, Sandy Cheeks walked in through the door.

Squidward brightened. Spongebob reached for a butcher knife.

Sandy was looking quite uncomfortable as she strolled inside, looking all around her.

"Hey, Sandy. You're looking absolutely _stunning_, as usual," Squidward said to her with a raise of his eyebrow and a seductive smile. She looked over at him and shook her head slightly.

"Yeah, hi. You seen Spongebob anywhere? I've been trying to call him for hours, now," she replied.

Squidward gave her a quizzical expression. "What the hell would you want him for.." he asked her.

"I just--I just wanna make sure everything between us is okay. You know, he seemed kinda mad that we kissed the other night, and-"

Squidward walked over to Sandy and put his arm around her. "Sandy, this is just one of those times where you have to let fate decide your path," he explained. He then pulled her so close that her face was literally buried in his shirt. 

"And baby, this is _definitely_ one of those times.." 

Sandy sighed, growing annoyed. "And what, dare I ask, would fate be deciding?" 

Squidward smiled. "Us, of course! I mean... just think about it. We're the perfect pair: you with your undeniable beauty and intelligence, me with my envious good looks and artistic talent--we could really go places!" he declared cheerfully. "We were made for each other, Sandy, don't you see?"

"Uhh, Squid, listen. You're a really great guy and I like you alot, but maybe we need to--"

"Sandy you're perfect. And _I'm_ perfect. We're perfect together. We complete each other... right?" 

Sandy looked into Squidward's eyes, a bit horrified. They hadn't even been on three dates yet and already he was telling her that they belonged to each other. What was wrong with him!? Was he always this clingy with other women?? Or was this just some idiotic scam to dupe her into sex?

"And since we're soul mates I think it's only fair that we have sex. You free tonight?"

Yeah. It was a scam.

"Squidward!" Sandy cried, breaking free of his grasp. "Have you had your head stuck in a pickle jar for fifteen years!?"

"What?? I'm only doing what destiny says to do! It's Neptune's will that we reproduce, we've got to continue this cycle of flawlesness before society goes and destroys itself!"

Sandy rolled her eyes. "Listen. I'm gonna go talk to Spongebob for a minute or two, and you... you just... you just go find some way to keep yourself busy." 

Disgusted, she shook her head and turned to leave. "What," Squidward called after her, "I don't get a good-bye kiss?"

Sandy ignored him, and his eyes narrowed. 

"Hrmmm," he observed, "So, Sandy's a little tense today. So what?" He nervously drummed his fingers on a nearby table, unable to stop thinking that maybe what Spongebob had said was right...


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hi there! It's me, again... well, here goes another chapter. Please R&R. Thanks, I love you all!**

"SpongeBob, we need to talk. Right now."

Sandy's tone was far from playful. There wasn't a single hint that she might've been joking in her voice, her arms were folded against her chest, and her eyes were stern and serious. Even though his back was to her, SpongeBob could tell that she meant business.

"Oh! Hey, Sandy! So, what brings you over to the kitchen? Come to tell me that you and Squidward are renting a yacht and sailing to the Caribbean?? Greaaaat! Have a nice... TRIP!!" SpongeBob said angrily in a mock-happy voice, quickly flipping a patty. It sizzled loudly at his intense force, driven by sheer jealousy and heartbreak.

Sandy sighed. She wasn't in the mood for all this crap. "Can we _please_ just be mature about this? We're both adults, so let's act like it," she said, walking over towards him.

"Alright then, fine! You're right Sandy, you're one hundred percent right. Let's be _mature_ about this situation, let's act like _adults_, let's deal with this _rationally_..."

"I never said that."

"Well, you know damn well what I mean by it!" SpongeBob cried, flipping another patty immediately, and then another, and another, and then two more... "Sandy, how could you do this to me? Huh?? I thought I was your friend!"

"You are.." Sandy said slowly, "And that's exactly why you caught me kissing Squidward. SpongeBob... I... we... look, I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you: I used to like you. A lot. In fact, I kind of–I kind of loved you."

SpongeBob couldn't believe what he was hearing. He dropped his spatula, utterly stunned. "You... did?" he asked breathlessly.

Sandy looked away from him and nodded. "Yeah, I did. But... I just always thought that you were never interested. I mean, after all, I gave you enough clues to let you know I had the world's biggest crush on you. Only an idiot would overlook them.."

SpongeBob lowered his head, but he smiled to himself. "I knew it," he whispered, "Aw, Sandy, I _knew_ you loved me all along! And guess what?? I love you too, so how 'bout you dump that deformed cephalapod out there and date me instead? We're way more compatible, anyways, and--"

"SpongeBob, I--"

"You know what, let's just skip the whole dating phase, and get married. We can honeymoon in Cancun!"

"SpongeBob, listen--"

"How about this weekend? We can drive out to Vegas and--oh hell, that's right, I don't have my license... hmm... well, I guess we could use Uncle Sherm's bus pass--"

"Bob, you gotta--"

"And of course, with marriage, there comes along the subject of children. Personally, I hate kids, but if you wanna be a mother, then I'll try to make this work for you--"

"SPONGEBOB!!"

"Not now, wife, I'm fantasizing!"

"SpongeBob, LISTEN to me! I'm not your wife, I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not the girl who has a crush on you... anymore!... I've been trying to tell you... I don't have the feelings for you that I used to. In short: I only like you as a friend!"

There was a long pause. "Wh... What?" SpongeBob asked sadly, his eyes quickly blinking.

Sandy sighed. "SpongeBob, I'm very sorry. But I just don't like you in that way--not anymore, at least. I don't want you to hang onto me, though. I want you to move past this, because I know that there's a girl out there who'll love you in the same way that you love me. Maybe even more than that.."

SpongeBob shook his head, shocked. He had been so sure that Sandy was still in love with him. "Sandy, I didn't... we... but--"

"Let's just--_try_ to forget about all of this. Okay? From now on, we're SpongeBob and Sandy, best friends. No more, no less. Right?"

Sandy extended her hand for him to shake, but he merely stared at it.

"How can I just 'forget about it', Sandy?? How? When you love someone to a certain degree, and they tell you they don't love you back, it's not as easy as it sounds to just up and say, 'Oh, the girl of my dreams just dumped me! I loved her so much, but she dosen't feel the same way about me! Oh, well, guess I'll just forget alll about her, huh?' I mean, what the hell!? WHAT THE HELL, SANDY!"

"Hey! It ain't my fault that you have trouble lettin' go of things that never even started! If ya get stung by a bee, then don't blame a wasp!" Sandy shot back ferociously.

"This has nothing to do with letting go! For the love of Neptune, don't you get it!?"

"No, SpongeBob. I don't get it. I don't get why you can't just be my friend and nothing more than that. SpongeBob, I want you as a friend and only as a friend, so why don't you accept my decision??"

"I'M NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THAT!!" SpongeBob screeched. "Let me explain something to you: I LOVE you, Sandy. Do you understand that!? I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU! I've loved you since the very first day you came to Bikini Bottom... well, not really, actually. Back then I just thought you were super hot and had nice boobs--but I'm getting off subject here--anyway, the more time I spent with you, the more I realized that you were so much more than just a pretty face. You were smart, and kind, and giving, and understanding, and you turned out to be one of the best friends I'd ever had! And I don't think you realize how difficult it'll be for me to accept the fact that you will never love me, even though I love _you_ so much!"

Sandy could only look at SpongeBob, her jaw hanging on the bottom of her air helmet, her eyes wide and round with surprise. She'd never heard someone--anyone, for that matter, say those lovely things about her. She'd never realized how much SpongeBob cared for her. All the wasted years... trying her hardest to impress him... afraid to confess her true feelings... when all along, she could've just told him how she really felt. Then they probably wouldn't be standing here right now, having this discussion.

Sandy looked directly into SpongeBob's eyes. They were filled with sadness and grief, and also, what appeared to be, tears. She desperately wanted to take him into her arms and tell him that she would love him forever, if that's what he really wanted--but the truth was, if she did that, she'd be lying.

"SpongeBob, I.. I.." she stammered, having no idea how to respond to his declaration. "Wow, I... I'm so sorry. I didn't know that you--"

"Yeah, well, now you do," SpongeBob muttered, turning back to face the grill again.

Sandy did not leave. She stood and looked at him, ridden with guilt. He did not face her, or even talk to her.

"SpongeBob... please... let's just talk about this, alright?"

"What is there to talk about, Sandy?? Huh?? You tell me!"

Sandy looked at him, shocked. She could feel a hard lump forming in her throat, but she had no clue why it was there.

"SpongeBob, I'm sorry.. I--I didn't think that--"

"Maybe you should leave now.. I'm sure Squidward's waiting for you..."

Sandy gave SpongeBob another long, hard stare before slowly walking to the door. "You're right... I'm sure he is," she said coldly.

He willed the tears not to fall as Sandy slammed the door shut behind her.

* * *

**Well, that's the end of the chapter. Personally, I think this one was pretty stupid, but I didn't really know what else to write, I knew that I had to describe SpongeBob's emotions about how Sandy dosen't love him, and if I had finished it all completely, it would've been too long. The next chapter will be here sooner than you think. R&R, please!!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey there!! Well, thanks plenty for all of the reviews, your comments were greatly appreciated. In the next chapter, I've decided to turn this around a bit and try something completely different from what I'd originally planned to write. **

**The story is now set three months after SpongeBob confronts Sandy and tells her he's in love with her. Squidward and Sandy have been dating ever since then and are a strong couple, almost inseperable. Sandy realizes how much she truly cares for him, and he realizes the same about her. **

**SpongeBob is now over his huge crush on Sandy, but still feels a little uncomfortable being around her. The two don't really talk very much anymore, and the same goes for he and Squidward. **

**There. A brief-and-to-the-point summary of what will happen in the next few chapters. Please R&R, and enjoy!**

* * *

You can just imagine the shocked look on everyone's face when Pearl entered the Krusty Krab one afternoon with a man twelve years her senior.

"Everybody," she declared to the restaurant, "This is Gregory. We've known each other for almost a year, and we're getting married!"

Two weeks later Mr. Krabs was released from the hospital after suffering from a heart attack.

"Pearl, there is no way I'm gonna stand for this crap!" he cried, the very first thing he said to his daughter after his release, "You're only eighteen years old! This man is twenty-nine! You've just started college, you don't know enough about the world, and... well... don't you think a man his age goin' after a girl as young as you is only after one thing??"

"Dad! I'm not a child! If you're talking about sex, then you don't need to worry about him chasing after it. We've been sleeping with each other for two months.." Pearl said in an annoyed tone. Her father did _not_ understand the way things worked nowadays.

Mr. Krabs let out a perplexed gasp and nearly toppled over. "Holy hell! Please, Pearlie... please for the love of Neptune... tell me this is a joke..."

"Of course it's not a joke, daddy! Why can't you just accept the fact that I'm an adult now, and I can make my own decisions!?"

"An _adult_!? HA! Bullshit! You've barely been out of high school, and you live under my house, which means you abide by my rules, which means that you're not old enough to live out on your own, which also means, YOU AIN'T AN ADULT!!"

"Well, Gregory seems to think I'm an adult!"

"_Gregory_ was your history professor for two terms!!"

"So?? That dosen't change a thing! We're still in love, and we're still getting married. There's nothing you can do to stop it!"

"Maybe so, but there's one thing I sure as hell _won't_ do!"

"What's that!?"

"Walk my innocent little baby down the aisle of a wedding chapel, and into the arms of some sick, twisted, mentally deranged, sex hungry PEDOFILE!!"

"--gasp--How dare you talk about Greg like that!!"

"How dare you expect me to give you away to a rapist! You need somebody to walk you down the aisle?? Go find somebody else!"

Pearl's eyes welled with tears. "Oh! You... HATE ME!" she schreeched, rushing off in tears.

Mr. Krabs hadn't stayed true to his word, though. After discovering that Pearl's new fiancee was Gregory Trojan, heir to the Trojan condoms fortune, he was as happy as a hippo to give her away.

"Pearl," he said to her during one of the toasts, "I'm so proud of you... you've accomplished so much in life, and you've made me the happiest father alive. You've given me the only thing I've ever wanted: a rich son-in-law!" as Mr. Krabs fought back sobs, everyone else awakwardly and quietly clapped.

The wedding after-party was held at the Butterfly, the most popular night club in Bikini Bottom. Mr. Krabs had even splurged a little to rent out an entire section, just for their party. Everyone was having a wonderful time.

"Wow," Squidward said to his girlfriend, Sandy, above the thumping pop muisc that was playing, "I can't believe old man Krabs would go this far for his daughter.."

"You mean he normally _dosen't_?" Sandy asked, surprised.

Squidward shook his head. "Nope. Her sixteenth birthday party was held at the Krusty Krab, and he completely messed up everything for the poor kid. If it wasn't for SpongeBob, she would've cried her eyes out... and heaven knows we don't wanna give Louisiana and New Orleans another hurricane. Remember what happened the last time she threw a fit?"

Sandy nodded with a sorrowful look on her face. "Yeah. She lost it and millions had to suffer."

Squidward nodded, slowly, then grabbed Sandy's hand. "You want a drink?" he asked.

Sandy suddenly let go of his hand, and her face went pale. "Uh--no!" she said quickly.

Squidward gave her an odd look. "Why not...?" he asked.

Sandy's heart was beating so quickly she thought it might fall out of her chest. "Because..."

"Because what?"

"Just because, alright!? I said I didn't want a drink, you don't have to keep badgering me about it!"

Squidward was somewhat stunned. "Sandy, I wasn't badgering you about anything!"

"Yes, well!--" sandy stopped, noticing that she was now shouting. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "I... I just don't want a drink tonight, okay?"

Squidward looked at her, puzzeled. "Sandy, are you alright? I mean--lately you've been acting a little..."

"I'm fine, Squid. Really, I am."

With another long look, Squidward sighed. "Uh... okay then, whatever. Well--um, you mind if I get something?"

"Not at all."

The two walked over to the bar and took their seats, and Squidward gave his order to the bar tender. He and sandy sat in silence for several minutes.

"Oh, that reminds me..." he said suddenly, reaching into the pocket of his tux and pulling out a plain envelope. The front of it read: 'To Sandy, from Squidward.'

"Guess what this is?" he said with a grin, holding the envelope in front of her.

Sandy smiled. "I don't know, what is it?" she asked.

"Go on, guess.."

Sandy paused to think. "Hmm... is it... two tickets to a concert?" she tried.

"Close, but no. They are two tickets, though."

"Two tickets... to the fair?"

"No.."

"The annual Bikini Bottom Football Tournament?"

"No...!"

Sandy laughed. "Aw, come on, just tell me, already!" she said, playfully hitting Squidward on the arm.

"Alright, alright.. go ahead and open it."

Sandy took the envelope from him and opened it, slowly pulling out what was inside. When she saw what was in there she gasped and smiled from ear to ear.

"Oh, Squidward! Two tickets to an ocean liner cruise for a tropical vacation!?" she cried, utterly excited.

"Yep! Remember how you said you wanted to visit the Bahamas some day? Well, now you can!" Squidward said proudly.

Sandy threw her arms around him. "Thanks so much!" she said.

"Aw, you don't have to thank me, Sandy," Squidward said, blushing.

Sandy pulled away from their hug and her lips crashed into his, her tongue flying into his mouth (okay, from now on, forget all about her air helmet. If I had to take off a hat that allowed me to breathe everytime I wanted to kiss my boyfriend, I wouldn't be very happy. Why make Sandy struggle?). The two kissed for a good two minutes, before finally pulling away for air.

"Is that thanks enough?" Sandy asked.

Squidward was wearing a smile as wide as a football field. He let out a dreamy sigh. "I'll give you my answer when my lips stop vibrating," he said.

Sandy laughed and gave him another hug. This time, however, something caught her eye.

SpongeBob had just walked through the door. He looked around him, almost seeming confused, and then uneasily adjusted his bright green bowtie. He was dressed in a black suit and also had on black shoes, so where the color of the bowtie came from, the author doesn't even know.

Sandy stiffened. She hadn't spoken to, or even seen SpongeBob for nearly three and a half months, now, and now that they were both at the same party, she didn't know what to do.

She felt even worse when a female sponge sauntered inside and linked arms with him, and then kissed him on the cheek. Sandy's jaw dropped.

"Who is _that_!?" she cried aloud, quite by accident.

Squidward broke away from the hug and turned around. "What? Who's who?"

Sandy spun him back around to face her and laughed nervously. "Uh, nobody, it's nothing, no one," she said quickly.

"Really, 'cause it sure does seem like--"

SpongeBob and the girl were starting to walk over to the bar. Sandy grew worried.

"Uhh, wanna dance??" she asked Squidward quickly.

"Well, okay, but--"

Sandy pulled him onto the dance floor, a distance away from SpongeBob and his new friend, and thrust her arms around his neck. They swayed back and forth to the rythm of the music, while Sandy kept a close eye on the two 'lovebirds.'

She was horrified when they started to make their way over to where she sand Squidward were dancing.

"Er--you know what? Actually, I think I need to go get some air, it's a little too stuffy in here for me," she said with her sweetest smile.

"Oh, well... I'll come with you--"

"No!"

"What?"

"No, okay! You... stay there... stay right there... I'll be right back..."

"Sandy, what--Sandy where are you going!? SANDY!"

Sandy raced out of the club and uttered a sigh of relief the second she was outside. She couldn't believe this! She thought that SpongeBob had already come and gone to the wedding with Patrick, yet here he was at the after party--with another girl!

Her mind was racing. Her heart was pounding. Why had SpongeBob come to the party with someone else? Sandy knew that he had to be over her, by now, but that didn't give him the right to show up with somebody else!

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind: why the hell did she care so much...?

Before she even had the chance to question why, Sandy ran. She ran and ran, and she ran a bit more. She ran without stopping, without knowing why she was running or even wondering where she was running to. All she knew was that she must've dozed off for about five eyars and awaken in the Twilight Zone. Nothing semed to be right... seeing SpongeBob with another girl... someone who wasn't her... it just didn't feel right!

Sandy dashed across the street and over to a nearby park (why anyone would build a night club across the street from a park is anyone's guess). Still running, she suddenly tripped over something and lost her balance. With a small yelp she went toppling to the ground. Luckily, her dress hand't been completely ruined.

Sandy's eyes fell to her shoes, and rolled in annoyance. One of her heels had broken.

"Oh, shit!" she cried, whipping off her other shoe and carrying both of them in her hands. Sandy plopped right back down onto the grass and opened up her purse. Her car keys wer in there--and from where she was sitting, she could see her car...

She knew that Squidward would be pissed once he discovered that his girlfriend had driven off and left him stranded at a party with people he didn't even like... but suddenly, she wasn't really feeling in the 'party mood.'

_"Just face it,"_ said the annoying little voice in her head that spoke at the most inconvenient of times, _"Deep down inside of you,_ _you still have feelings for SpongeBob. That's why you ran out here. That's why you're so confused about why he's with another_ _girl."_

"No! Of course I don't still have feelings for spongeBob! I'm with Squidward, now, which means that I can't possibly love him," Sandy snapped.

_"Then why is it you're so worried that he and this other girl might be an item?"_

"Worried? Who said anything about being worried??"

_"No one had to. It's obvious."_

"Shut-up, will you!?"

_"Why are you having such difficulty accepting the fact that maybe you still love him?"_

"Because I _don't_ love him, that's why!"

_"Oh, Sandy, grow up. Even a fool can tell that you're a little jealous.."_

"Jealous!? I'm not jealous of her!"

_"Sandy, Sandy, Sandy... don't you know it's not good to lie to yourself?"_

"Yeah, well, I hope _you_ know that it's not too good to talk to yourself, either.."

Sandy sighed and stood up, again, this time brushing herself off. She was going back inside to get Squidward, and then she was going straight home.

She hurried across the street again, her mind still racing with vivid images of the girl leaning in to kiss SpongeBob. It was sickening to her..

_"_So _in denial..."_

"Amazing," Sandy murmured, "my own thougths are invading my own thoughts."

Sandy walked through the open doors of the night club and weaved through the several crowds of dancing people to get to the section reserved for Pearl's after-party. She could see Squidward sitting at the bar, drinking a beer and talking with Larry the Lobster. Sandy groaned. Why had all of her exes and former crushes chosen this night to humiliate her??

Just then, Sandy bumped into someone.

"Oomf--"

"Oh... I'm sorry. Let me help you up..."

_I know that voice..._

She took the hand of someone and hoisted herself upward. "Well, now, there... you..."

Sandy felt as if she had just been electrocuted once she saw who had helped her up.

It was SpongeBob.

He looked just as shocked to see her, as well. "Oh, uh--hi... Sandy..."

Sandy opened and closed her mouth, but nothing came out of it. She simply nodded.

"I, uh, didn't think you'd be coming to the after-pary," SpongeBob said rather flatly.

"I can say the same about you," she replied in a soft voice.

The two merely stared at each other. SpongeBob racked his brain for something to say, but he couldn't think of anything. he hadn't spoken to Sandy since the incident that occured that one night, not too long ago, and facing her now, facing the girl he used to love, who chose one of his friends over him, he didn't have a clue what to converse with her about.

"So, uh... are you here alone?" he tried. It wasn't the best approach, but it was definitely worth a shot.

"No. I'm here with Squidward." Her voice sounded hoarse and gruff. Not like the pretty, sweet southern accent he remembered so well.

His heart sank. Even now, there still wasn't the faintest of hope. "Oh.."

There was a long pause that seemed to last hours. The two just stood there, having nothing to say to the other, when just a few months ago they could've been talking so much that it seemed as if they'd never stop.

After another long moment, SpongeBob gave Sandy a feeble smile. "Well, I... I have to get back to some things, so I'll just--''

"SpongeBob, wait..."

SpongeBob slowly turned around. He honestly didn't want to get another one of those, 'Can we just talk about this?' speeches. She'd tried to force it onto him so many times before, and quite frankly, by now he was more than fed up with them.

"Yes, Sandy.." he said patiently.

"I have to talk to you... about that... night..."

SpongeBob swallowed and his heart began to pound. Oh, she had to bring that one up, again! He had tried his hardest to forget about that night, and hear she was trying to talk to him about it.

He sighed. "Sandy, we've already discussed this; that was just an accident, it wasn't supposed to happen, and it won't ever happen again. Right?"

Sandy leaned in closer to him, so that no one else would hear. "No, SpongeBob.. it's much more complicated than just saying it won't ever happen again. I think I'm..." her voice trailed off and she looked around nervously.

SpongeBob's eyes slowly widened as he began to realize what she was saying. "Oh... shit... Sandy, are--are you sure??" he cried anxiously.

Sandy nodded. "I've never been more sure about anything in my life! But I have an appointment tomorrow, just to make sure.." she said, a bit sadly.

SpongeBob shook his head. "My Neptune, Sandy--how could this have happened!?"

Sandy hit him on the arm. "You son-of-a-bitch, you know how it happened!!"

"Ow! No.. I mean, I know how it happened, I just don't understand how--"

"What are we gonna do, SpongeBob? I mean, I can't tell Squidward, he'll think it's his, and then..."

"I know, I know... I just... I just don't think we should--"

"Hi, SpongeBob. Who's your friend?"

Sandy looked up to see that the female sponge who had come in with him was now standing right next to him, holding his hand. She swallowed, this time because the lump in her throat had returned.

SpongeBob paled. "Oh, u-uh--hi, babe," he said in a low voice, but Sandy still caught what he'd said. She folded her arms and looked at him as the two kissed.

SpongeBob quickly pulled away and chuckled nervously, refusing to meet Sandy's gaaze.

"Well," the female sponge said, "Aren't you going to introduce me?"

SpongeBob instantly lowered his head. "Um--okay.." he said weakly. "Shannon, this is Sandy. She's my... my... uh..."

"I'm his co-worker's girlfriend," Sandy put in for him. SpongeBob glanced up at her, but she immediately looked away.

"Oh!... So this is the Sandy my Spongy won't stop talking about..."

"Shannon... _please_... not now."

"Aw, come on, sugar lips, don't be embarassed!"

"I think I'm gonna dry heave," Sandy muttered.

"Sandy, dear, ever since Spongy and I met all he's talked about is you! I thought you two were much closer than this, but apparently you just know each other through your boyfriend.."

"Yes, we do," Sandy said, "So, uh--how do you and SpongeBob know each other. Work? Internet?... Strip club?"

SpongeBob gave sandy a warning look. "Sandy, _actually_ we're.."

"He's my fiancee..."

* * *

**GASP! SpongeBob is now engaged!? And also, Sandy has a little problem, as well. You might have a small idea about what it is, but you won't know for sure until later chapters. Well. Please R&R!**

**(See? I told you the next chapter would come sooner than you think).**


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